at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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