So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize