So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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