a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
