Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
