So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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