Small penises have feelings too.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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