Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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