in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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