I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need to calm my uterus...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
