According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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