dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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