she was so not down for the gang bang
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
