so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
