Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
