Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
