We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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