He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And then my night got REAL pukey
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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