Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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