Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
