i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
