out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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