i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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