the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
