Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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