i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
