I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
