Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
