my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
