Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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