I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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