i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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