You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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