Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize