I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
