No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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