I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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