he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My vagina is officially offended.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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