Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
