Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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