Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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