I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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