She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
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You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
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Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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