So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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