I skipped work to stalk him.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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