you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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