Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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