apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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