i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
