omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
