He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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