His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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