I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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