I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my shit smells like andre
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
