i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
