Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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