He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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