Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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