plz talk dirty to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hippo gnu deer
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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