I want to walk on stilts...naked
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize