This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
