yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
