Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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