We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My pussy is not your playground.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize