Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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