And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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