he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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